User:Aidanzapunk/Quotes

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|0=

No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!
Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Colors

|1=

There's no puzzle without a solution.
Professor Layton

|2=

It does not matter how fast you go, just as long as you do not stop.
—Confucius

|3=

The moment when you realize it's more than "just a game" is the moment when you become a true gamer.
—Aidan Drury

|4=

I'm gonna reach for the stars, although they look pretty far; I'm gonna find my own way, then take a chance on today.
Reach for the Stars, Sonic Colors

|5=

The human sacrificed himself, to save the Pokémon. I pitted them against each other, but not until they set aside their differences did I see the true power they all share deep inside. I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
Mewtwo, Mewtwo Strikes Back!

|6=

Someday, when I'm bigger...I wanna fight that Mario again!
Bowser Jr., Super Mario Sunshine

|7=

7.8 - Too much water.
—IGN

|8=

WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, IT LOOKS...SMASHING! AHAHAHAHA!
Metal Face

|9=

This scene does not contain a lap dance.
—CinemaSins

|10=

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind.
—Stitch, Lilo & Stitch

|11=

They invited Pac-Man? That cherry-chasing dot-muncher isn't even part of the game!
—Wreck-It Ralph, Wreck-It Ralph

|12=

Remember, don't try this at home. We're what you call "experts".
—Mythbusters

|13=

May the stars shine down on you.
Rosalina, Super Mario Galaxy

|14=

Oh boy! I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!
Link, from a game that shall not be named

|15=

To talk goodness is not good - only to do it is.
—Chinese proverb

|16=

Would Sonic the Hedgehog please report to the security office? Sonic the Hedgehog, please report to the security office. We found your...uh...YOUR KEYS! Yes, that's it, we found your keys. No need to be ready for a trap, since we only want to return your keys!
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|17=

We know they look delicious, but please refrain from licking the rides. That would be disgusting. Do you know where those rides have been? People have been sitting on those rides! With their BUTTS! Okay, go ahead; lick them. Don't say we didn't warn you.
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|18=

Attention, the anti-gravity toilets on this level are out of order, we are sorry for this inconvenience and hope you can hold it for another 20,000 light years.
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|19=

Please remember, all planets in Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park are, as far as you know, wholly owned properties of Eggman Enterprises and its subsidiaries. All unauthorized photography, video reproduction, or shutting down of generators is strictly prohibited. Thank you.
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|20=

In the unlikely event of an emergency, please find the nearest escape pod. For anyone not named Eggman, your escape pod can be found back at the planet still being assembled in the factory.
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|21=

Would the owner of a yellow car, license plate 1NOM155, please report to the front gate, your vehicle is in a path of an asteroid and it's about to get smashed. Oh...er, never mind.
—Dr. Eggman, Sonic Colors

|22=

I'm over here, you horse's ass!
—Kevin, Home Alone

|23=

Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world.
—Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies

|24=

Love is...putting someone else's needs before yours.
—Olaf, Frozen

|25=

Some people are worth melting for.
—Olaf, Frozen

|26=

My heart's a stereo; it beats for you, so listen close. Hear my thoughts in every note. Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low; this melody was meant for you to sing along to my stereo.
Stereo Hearts, Gym Class Heroes

|27=

You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart is breathing for this moment; in time, I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today.
Moments, One Direction

|28=

Money can't buy happiness because you don't have to pay money to avoid a Taylor Swift concert.
—Aidan Drury

|29=

OBJECTION!
Phoenix Wright

|30=

I live, eat and breathe potatoes now. Potatoes are...my life.
—Knightle, Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

|31=

It is something that grows over time... a true friendship. A feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time... The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go...
Sheik, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

|32=

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. When there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
—Ella Fitzgerald

|33=

All you need is the plan, the road map and the courage to press on to your destination.
—Earl Nightingale

|34=

I have no regrets. My journey has been good. I served a beautiful queen and you and I shared many adventures. Those memories will always be with me.
—Sir Aaron, Lucario and the Mystery of Mew

|35=

There's no such thing as a painless lesson - they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can't gain anything without losing something first. Although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.
—Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

|36=

As long as we draw breath into our lungs, we shall keep hope alive inside our hearts.
—Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail

|37=

My first love was everything all at once. The kind that you never fall back from, never try to, never want to. My love is so big, so strong. It never dies, never fades, never loses its electricity. The kind of love you fight for.
Endless Love

|38=

Remember when we were young? Our imagination was all that ever meant to us. Remember when differences never mattered? But we have learned to notice all of them. And we make comparisons. All that we don’t understand. Waiting for the snowfall, summer feels so long ago. But it still lives on in us. Keeping us from the cold, but when we are all alone, deep inside, for all of us. We all want someone to love and call our own. We all want to be somewhere we call our home. Waiting for the snowfall, summer feels so long ago. Darkness is in front of us. And the chill is coming on, but a change is beautiful. Eventually the scene will slow. We will find someone to love, who makes us whole. We will end up together, a place called home.
Snowfall (feat. Laura Brehm), Approaching Nirvana

|39=

I don't give it my all at night.
—Aidan Drury

|40=

...but hey, that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY! Thanks for watching!
—MatPat, Game Theory

|41=

Drops are getting in my shoes, and laces alone can't take away my booze; are you only passing through, or are you gonna love me?
Love Theory, Approaching Nirvana

|42=

It doesn't matter if you say the true origin of Magic is "Darkness". It doesn't matter if you say it's "Light" either. Magic is alive. Its place changes over time and it grows along with us. Magic is anything you can think of. It can be felt in infinite ways... as light, as darkness, as red, or as blue and it is living freely, together along side Fairy Tail.
—Makarov, Fairy Tail

|43=

This game sucks better than a dick farting on a vagina covered in poop.
—GameGrumps

|44=

I am not alone. I can hear them... I can hear everyone's voices... I can sense everyone's feelings... I am not alone... Everyone's feelings... They support me... They are what give me the will to stand and fight!!
—Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail

|45=

Move as swift as the wind
Stay as silent as the forest
Attack as fierce as the fire
Undefeatable like the mountain

|46=

Do it again goat fuckerz
—A friend of mine on Facebook

|47=

[Iwata] left us with Mario Maker, so that we can create our own games and make our own dreams come true, like he did.
—@ModestMawile, on Twitter

|48=

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it only takes three to paint it vividly: I love you.
—My girlfriend

|49=

Floor ice cream gives you health!
Pit, Kid Icarus: Uprising

|50=

Shazamitylam!
Pyrrhon, Kid Icarus: Uprising

|51=

"Absolutely, Lady Palutena." You're such a yes man, Pit. Good thing you're so cute.
Phosphora, Kid Icarus: Uprising

|52=

THIS is how you enjoy a hot spring! Step one: breathe deep. Step two: clear mind. Step three: remove pants.
Pit, Kid Icarus: Uprising

|53=

Smash is for making friends. Mario Party is for losing them.
—Aidan Drury

|54=

Descole? You don't mean Mr I-Like-to-Wreck-Things-with-Mechanical-Monsters-and-Dress-Up-as-Posh-Ladies Descole?
Emmy Altava, Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy

|55=

I'm like a ninja, but less gay.
—Deadpool

|56=

Ryu turns into a Shoryuken and blasts around the stage damaging players.
—The MarioWiki's original description for the Shin Shoryuken (before I fixed it)

|57=

The end of a journey is always the start of a new one.
—A friend of mine on Facebook

|58=

You will never know the true feeling of uncomfortableness until your pants rip so hard that you have to wear safety pins, resulting in them constantly rubbing against your crotch.
—Aidan Drury

|59=

You know what I like about Smash? You have Mario, Sonic, Snake, Mega Man, Pac-Man, Ryu, Cloud, and Bayonetta in the same damn game.
—Aidan Drury

|60=

Sakurai has mentioned in the past that Chrom would just be a generic clone of Ike and that's why he skipped out on him...............then he created a generic clone for Marth known as Lucina. Sakurai logic, ladies and gentlemen.
Disaster Flare

|61=

Rule number 1 of Project M: Never fight a Level 9 Squirtle.
—Aidan Drury

|62=

Sonic the Hedgehog from Sonic the Hedgehog first appeared in Sonic the Hedgehog. Good job, SEGA.
—Aidan Drury

|63=

Mega Man from Mega Man first appeared in Mega Man. Good job, Capcom.
—Aidan Drury

|64=

Pac-Man from Pac-Man first appeared in Pac-Man. Good job, Namco.
—Aidan Drury

|65=

Nintendo, making leaps and bounds in innovations, am I right? Since nineteen-eighty-FUCKIN-three.
—RelaxAlax

|66=

I love you. I love every minute I spend with you, through text, FaceTime, in person, I just really love you. I love your angelic voice, the way you'll spike back up your hair when you're confident, the way you laugh after making a (typically bad) pun, that charming grin of yours. I love you. I feel as though I could never say it enough. I love you.
—My girlfriend

|67=

Ok: I'm playing as Sonic, and I'm fighting Bowser Jr. on a Fire Emblem stage for Game & Watch equipment. ...WHAT IS THIS?
—Me playing Crazy Orders

|68=

In Fire Emblem: Awakening, Lucina could inherit useful skills from her parents that made her a better unit. Unfortunately, the only thing she inherited in this game was Marth's severe nerfs, which prevents her from effectively finishing opponents early.
Dovahchief's description of Lucina

|69=

Well, okay, I am impressed. Such a teeny little angel defeating such a big, bad god of the Underworld. Why, Pitty, that must make you the most powerful Nintendo character of all time. I'm actually rather proud of you. 8-bit Pit would've never made it this far. But don't worry, I'm not going to tear up the credits again, the game really IS over... Which is why I'm here to delete your save data! ONE, TWO, THREE, GONE!!! ...Noooo, I'm just messing with you, buddy. Settle down! Your save's, oh, er, safe. I can't, I don't even have a body anymore. Couldn't delete a save file if I wanted to. I'm not even sure if I can be resurrected in this state. There's the real tragedy. This dashing physique, this literally GODLY body, is gone forever. Ladies everywhere are no doubt weeping as we speak. Your fault! Oh well, I'll figure something out. I have, what, 25 years for the next sequel? Anyhoo! Anywho, you can always revisit me and other...friends...in the chapters you've beat. You could play battles over and over again like a favorite book, or a broken record. Oh! And if the mood strikes you, throw some hearts into the Fiend's Cauldron, hard, spice up the difficulty of a level and commend you some sweet rewards! And because I'm not a sore loser, I unlocked Boss Battle Mode for you. So here's to Kid Icarus: Uprising, my new favorite game of all time! Thanks for playing! Hades, out!
Hades, Kid Icarus: Uprising

|70=

MEOW, BITCH!
One of Markiplier's videos

|71=

In winners' semi's, in a national, when money is on the line...winner fights ZeRo.
—One of my friends on Facebook

|72=

You can erase the files, but not the fear.
Luigi's Mansion

|73=

...did I really say Mewtwo, Charizard, and Mewtwo? ...I need coffee.
—Me realizing that I messed up in an edit summary

|74=

I swear every time they announce a DLC character I can feel the money loosening out of my pocket.
Disaster Flare

|75=

The problem is Little Mac players think Side-B off the stage is a true combo.
Disaster Flare on the subject of For Glory

|76=

If people want a wiki to treat as a joke...
—My thoughts on vandalism

|77=

I leave for five fucking minutes...
—My complaints about vandalism

|78=

Stop That Kick! Stop That Kick! Suck That Dick!... How did those cheers morph into each other?
DekZek

|79=

You want a quote here? Well, too bad! Oh, wait... shit.
Air Conditioner

|80=

If one waits after the credits sequence for a while, Hades' soul will begin speaking to the player, shattering what remains of the fourth wall.
—What happens at the very end of Kid Icarus: Uprising
(as described by the Kid Icarus Wiki)

|81=

Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: Well, what does that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.
Spaceballs

|82=

You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.
—Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

|83=

God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
—Yogurt, Spaceballs

|84=

Ape 1: What are those things coming out of her nose?
Ape 2: Spaceballs!
Ape 1: Oh shit, there goes the planet...
Spaceballs

|85=

I don't care if you're the strongest or the top guild in Fiore, but I will tell you this. You've made enemies of the worst possible guild to piss off.
—Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail

|86=

Hungrybox 4-stocked Mew2King, and here is his dollar.
Cactuar

|87=

A present: a skin from INoMed Winfrey!
Ganonmew

|88=

How the fuck am I supposed to get better with a character when CPUs have frame 1 reaction times and For Glory is full of monsters
—Me learning Rosalina & Luma

|89=

So I've considered making a bar for nature enthusiasts. I'll call it...Tequila Mockingbird.
—One of my friends on Facebook

|90=

That moment when you almost type "World World" instead of Wild World...
Disaster Flare

|91=

Colonel Sandurz: Princess Vespa's spaceship within range, sir.
Dark Helmet: Good. Fire a warning shot across her nose.
*lasers*
Vespa: What's going on?
Dot: It's either the 4th of July, or someone's trying to kill us!
Vespa: Hey...I don't have to put up with this! I'm rich! *grabs phone*
Dot: What are you doing?!
Vespa: I'm calling my father. *dialing on phone* 1-800-DRUIDIA.
*back on Spaceball I*
Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot, I said across her nose, not up it!
Phillip Asshole: Sorry sir, doing my best.
Dark Helmet: ...Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did, sir! He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: ...I know that! What's his name?!
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole too, sir; Gunners mate first class Phillip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: ...How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow?
Entire crew: *stands up and raises hand* YO!
Dark Helmet: ...I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes. ...Keep firing, Assholes!
—One of the best scenes ever, Spaceballs

|92=

We ain't found shit!
—The guy with the afro pick, Spaceballs

|93=

My hair! He shot my hair! ...son of a bitch...
—Princess Vespa, Spaceballs

|94=

If Erza loses her hair, we'll have to change her name to Erza Baldie.
Disaster Flare whilst watching Fairy Tail

|95=

QUIT TREATING JAPAN LIKE SPOILED LITTLE SHITS
—Me complaining about Ashley's Song (JP) Ver. 2 being a Japan-exclusive song

|96=

Didn't know the German male Wii Fit Trainer was secretly Waluigi...
—Me regarding voice clips for the Wii Fit Trainer

|97=

Fucking hornets, man.
—One of my friends at school

|98=

They call me the black Chuck Norris
—One of Shofu's streams

|99=

Okay, so first off, there's Mephiles, the bastard that looks like the bastard that looks like the blue bastard.
Disaster Flare when talking about the Sonic series

|100=

Would you care to repeat that, you son of a bitch?
—Android 16, DBZ Abridged

|101=

Never played Final Fantasy, never really played RPGs, and I know next to nothing about his moveset. Let's do this.
—Me in regards to Cloud's reveal

|102=

Hey guys, you know what would be awesome? In Brawl, if, like, they put in Cloud from Final Fantasy VII?
Brawl Taunts

|103=

This guy are sick.
—Aerith, Final Fantasy VII

|104=

You wanna suck my fuckin' cock?
TheDuckVoice (in his Mickey voice)

|105=

So apparently, the voice behind Edward Eric from Fullmetal Alchemist, Vic Mignogna, also plays the father of the main character of Soul Eater, who is played by Laura Bailey, who in turn also plays Lust in Fullmetal Alchemist. Talk about a full circle.
—Aidan Drury

|106=

What the fuck are hitboxes
—Aidan Drury

|107=

Ryu is the literal definition of "what are hitboxes".
—Aidan Drury

|108=

Bill? BILL? BILL!?
Reggie Fils-Aimé

|109=

I dream of a perfect world where you can play online without lag.
—Aidan Drury

|110=

It's not about whether or not you're a human or an Exceed. We're all living beings and we have to do what is right. I'll be right beside you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
—Wendy Marvell, Fairy Tail

|111=

Wendy's JPVA is also Corrin in Japan...Corrin's Final Smash looks like a Water Dragon Roar...Wendy was supposed to be the Water Dragon Slayer...COINCIDENCE???????
—Aidan Drury

|112=

WHY IS HULK HOGAN IN XENOBLADE
—My reaction to seeing Dickson for the first time in Xenoblade Chronicles

|113=

Do fairies even have tails? More than that, do fairies even exist? Nobody knows for sure, so this guild is like them, an eternal mystery, an eternal adventure.
—Mavis Vermillion, Fairy Tail

|114=

She's literally Ryu and ZSS mixed into the same character
—Me describing Bayonetta

|115=

You have won the tourney by default because all other players disconnected. Congrats?
Super Smash Bros. for Wii U

|116=

...That sounds like the most Disney excuse for enemies I have ever heard.
Disaster Flare regarding the Heartless from Kingdom Hearts

|117=

Why do Shulk and Corrin look like they're from the same game
—Aidan Drury

|118=

What's perverted about jiggling your dick around
—One of my friends on Facebook

|119=

Ruby's theme is about her mother. Blake's is about her shadowy past. Weiss' is about her life as a heiress. Yang's is about how she'll beat you the fuck up if you mess with her. This is why I love Yang.
TheKappa

|120=

Worse than an N64 controller and a sideways Wii remote combined
—Me, in regards to Melee on an emulator

|121=

DekZek KOs Aidanzapunk using a sideways N64 remote
Special:WebChat

|122=

Christianity, where you can get on your knees, accept the body of another man into your mouth, and not be gay.
—A friend of mine on Facebook

|123=

Project M: the only place where you can see a shopping cart fight the Hyrule Temple.
—Aidan Drury

|124=

If Phoenix Wright was in Super Mario Sunshine the game would've been a hell of a lot faster.
—Aidan Drury

|125=

MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN SON OF A SHIT BISCUIT
—Aidan Drury

|126=

I'll get to this woman's bottom! Wait... I mean ... you know what I mean.
—Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

|127=

I would like to cross-examine the witness's pet parrot!
—Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

|128=

Oh, how a foolish fool makes a foolish face while dreaming foolishly foolish dreams.
—Franziska von Karma, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

|129=

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three!
—The most amazing scene ever, Monty Python & the Holy Grail

|130=

Mr. Wellington loves large bananas!
—Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

|131=

I object! That was...objectionable!
—Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

|132=

Let's go let her whip us, Mr. Nick!
—Pearl Fey, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

|133=

My name is Knives Chau, and I'm a Scottaholic!
—Knives Chau, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

|134=

I wouldn't mind hearing more about Max's bust... Not that I'm into that sorta thing...
—Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

|135=

What? Are you saying that "gossip" is all just a pack of lies? Hmph, what do you know? I suppose next you'll swear to me that the "news" is 100% truth!
—Wendy Oldbag, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

|136=

Well...I'm glad everyone was able to keep their cool...and not explode...that would've made for an uncomfortable parent/teacher conference.
—Dr. Oobleck, RWBY: Grimm Eclipse

|137=

This decision is final. It can never be recovered. Prepare to live with it for the rest of your life. Choose wisely.
—The reset preferences screen, RWBY: Grimm Eclipse

|138=

*to self* Think of something poetic, Oroku...

But soft, you are total boner food.
—Shredder, Robot Chicken

|139=

When you poop in your dreams...you poop for real.
—Peter Griffin, Family Guy

|140=

YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKIN' LINE IN THE SAND, DUDE. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY, "WHAT AM I WILLING TO PUT UP WITH TODAY?" NOT FUCKING THIS!
—Arin Hanson, Game Grumps

|141=

Why is everyone obsessed with lesbians?
—Scott Pilgrim

|142=

So a Super Saiyan who's as strong as a Super Saiyan God, yet is not a Super Saiyan God, is now the Super Saiyan version of that? You really do need to work on your descriptions, Goku. I nearly bit my tongue just trying to spit it all out!
—Frieza, Dragon Ball Super

|143=

Jeff: Jose, what do you want for Christmas?
Peanut: I think he needs a bigger stick. Hahaha!
Jose: That's not what your mother said.
Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special

|144=

Worker 1: Whatever. Just fill the hole, hole-filler!
Worker 2: Sure. *mutters* Jackass.
—The English dub of Ghost Stories

|145=

Jeff: What is wrong with you?!
Peanut: Too much Starbucks! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show.
Peanut: Okay, I admit. It was crack.
Jeff: No-
Audience: *laughter*
Jeff: You didn't do crack before the show.
Peanut: Well then you did!
Jeff: Pfft. No.
Peanut: Come on, it feels like one of us did! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Audience: *laughter*
Peanut: Did you do crack before the show?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: During the show?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: After the show?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: When?
Jeff: Never!
Peanut: What?
Jeff: I've never done crack!
Peanut: Are you sure?
Jeff: Yes.
Peanut: Are you lying?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: See how angry you are?
Jeff: Yea.
Peanut: It's the crack!
Audience: *laughter*
Jeff: There isn't any crack!
Peanut: Oh my god, he sold it all!
Audience: *laughter*
Jeff: Will you please explain to everyone I don't abuse drugs?
Peanut: Okay. *snork*
Audience: *laughter*
Peanut: Come on, you gotta at least smoke weed!
Jeff: No, I don't smoke pot.
Peanut: Never smoked pot?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: Never done drugs?
Jeff: No.
Peanut: Then how the hell did you come up with me?!
Audience: *laughter*
Peanut: You're a sick man!
Jeff: Will you just tell them?
Peanut: Okay! *looks at audience* Jeff does not abuse drugs.
Jeff: Thank you.
Peanut: He's an alcoholic.
Jeff Dunham: Arguing With Myself

|146=

HE TURNED INTO A BLACK GUY
Serpent King

|147=

It won't kill you to watch some sex.
—My mother

|148=

Haha! You were laboring under the misapprehension that this is "butter"! Fuck you, it's margarine!
—A bootlegged "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

|149=

...What was I about to do again? ...drugs, that's right.
—My girlfriend

|150=

You do you, and I'll do me, and we won't do each other. Probably.
—Markiplier

|151=

The best ingredients. The perfect recipe. To me...that stuff leads nowhere. You've gotta try new things. Sure, you may fail sometimes...but you still gotta have fun cooking. There are people out there...who think there's only ever one "right" answer. I can't help but think those people...will never be able to discover something even better.
—Soma Yukihira, Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma

|152=

Gajeel: Ain't no way you guys can beat my Lily, he's the strongest with a capital S!
Natsu: We'll see about that, 'cause Happy's a cat with a lowercase c!
Fairy Tail

|153=

The third day of the Grand Magic Games... Pandemonium. I don't think I'll ever forget this day... Even while being badly wounded, a fairy that should've fallen to the ground...soared. Titania...here you are. Just like...a dignified scarlet flower in all its glory.
—Levy McGarden, Fairy Tail

|154=

Excuse me, miss, could I please borrow your underwear?
—Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail

|155=

Lucy: NO STRIPPING IN MY HOUSE, BUDDY!
Gray: Hey, gimme a minute to explain, would ya? I was naked when I got here.
Fairy Tail

|156=

Happy: Wow, Lucy sure could take a page or two from her book, eh?
Lucy: Are you trying to say I'm not helpful, or that I've got no heart?
Happy: Wow...tough question!
Fairy Tail

|157=

Jason: So, Happy, why exactly are you blue?
Happy: Because I'm a cat!
Fairy Tail

|158=

Bora: You got some pretty big balls for a guy with pink hair.
Natsu: You got some pretty big balls for a guy with a pink vagina.
Fairy Tail Abridged

|159=

Gray: I mean, if Erza finds out where you've gone...
Natsu: Not the breadsticks...
Lucy: The what?
Natsu: The breadsticks, Lucy. I didn't think she could find a way to use them as a weapon. I was wrong. I WAS WRONG!
Gray: I'll never look at Italian the same way again...
Fairy Tail Abridged

|160=

Diana: Would you say you're a...typical example of your sex?
Steve: I am...above average.
Wonder Woman

|161=

Narrator: And just like that, Natsu's attack conveniently missed everyone in the entire village.
Natsu: How bout that? My attack conveniently missed everyone in the entire village.
Narrator: Oh, you son of a bitch.
Fairy Tail Abridged

|162=

Natsu: You suck, Gray!
Gray: I suck titties, bro.
Natsu: No, I suck titties!
Gray: You wish you sucked titties.
Erza: Break it up, both of you! Stop acting like children!
Gray: It's not my fault! Natsu's never even seen a titty!
Natsu: I invented titty sucking!
Fairy Tail Abridged

|163=

Mirajane: Hey Erza! That armor looks a bit snug. Ever thought about putting down the fork?
Erza: Careful, Mira, those shorts seem quite tight! Wouldn't want you getting too excited!
Mirajane: Why don't you go shove that sword up your ass?
Erza: Are you sure there wouldn't be more room inside your gigantic vagina?!
Fairy Tail Abridged

|164=

Gray: So the genie says I have two choices: I can either have a perfect memory, or a really big penis.
Cana: So...which did you choose?
Gray: You know, I can't remember.
Fairy Tail Abridged

|165=

Natsu: You're out of your league, Gaje. Fire's super effective against Steel, and everyone knows it!
Gajeel: That may be true...but Steel beats Fairies.
Fairy Tail Abridged

|166=

Let's see you in action, YA LITTLE BITCH!
—Parasoul ("Salty" voicepack) when against Peacock, Skullgirls

|167=

Timmy: I think he should have a mustache. Mustaches are evil.
Cosmo: Not everybody who has a mustache is evil!
Wanda: Your mother has a mustache.
Cosmo: You should give him a mustache.
Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators

|168=

Mikisugi: Mrs. Mankanshoku, would you care to snack on my Slim Jim? It's extra spicy.
Mr. Mankanshoku: If she's not gonna have it, I will.
Kill la Kill bloopers

|169=

We're not just doing this for money! We're doing it for a SHITLOAD of money!!
—Lone Starr, Spaceballs

|170=

Dark Helmet: Have you found them yet?
Corporal: No, Lord Helmet, they're still not on the scanner.
Dark Helmet: Well, keep looking for them.
Colonel Sandurz: Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. Corporal, get me the video cassette of Spaceballs: the Movie.
Corporal: Yes, sir. *searches a Mr. Rental shelf full of Mel Brooks films* The Producers, Twelve Chairs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein...
Dark Helmet: Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you, please?
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: How can there be a cassette of Spaceballs: the Movie? We're still in the middle of making it!
Colonel Sandurz: Well, that's true, sir, but there's been a new breakthrough in home video marketing.
Dark Helmet: There has?
Colonel Sandurz: Yes! Instant cassettes. They're out in stores before the movie is finished!
Dark Helmet: ...Nah!
Corporal: Here it is, sir! Spaceballs!
Colonel Sandurz: Good work, Corporal, punch it up!
*Corporal puts in tape and it shows an F.B.I. Anti-Piracy warning*
Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward!
Corporal: Preparing to fast-forward.
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward!
Corporal: Fast-forwarding, sir!
*Corporal fast-forwards to the part where Dark Helmet has ignored Sandurz' warning to sit down and buckle up that leads to him denting his helmet severely*
Dark Helmet: No no no, go past this, past this part. In fact, never play this again.
Colonel Sandurz: Try here. Stop.
*Corporal stops the tape, then Dark Helmet and Sandurz come across an image of themselves viewing the screen. As they react, the screen mimics what they are doing.*
Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the movie?!
Colonel Sandurz: "Now." You're looking at "now," sir. Everything that happens now is happening "now."
Dark Helmet: What happened to "then"?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed "then."
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at "now," now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to "then"!
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?!
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?!
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: ...When will "then" be "now"?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.
Dark Helmet: How soon?
*Corporal rewinds the tape back to a scene showing protagonists wandering in desert*
Corporal: Sir!
Dark Helmet: What?!
Corporal: We have identified their location.
Dark Helmet: Where?!
Corporal: It's the moon of Vega!
Colonel Sandurz: Good work, set a course and prepare for our arrival!
Dark Helmet: When?!
Corporal: 1900 hours, sir!
Colonel Sandurz: By high noon tomorrow, they will be our prisoners!
Dark Helmet: WHO?!!
Spaceballs

|171=

Lucius: Honey?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where is my supersuit?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where is my supersuit?!
Honey: I, uh, put it away.
Lucius: Where?!
Honey: Why do you need to know?
Lucius: I need it!
Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off to doing no derrin'-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!
Lucius: The public is in danger!
Honey: My evening's in danger!
Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!
Honey: "Greater good"? I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!
The Incredibles

|172=

Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?!
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.
Monsters Inc.

|173=

You top-hatted penis!
—Charriii5, Everything Wrong With Super Mario Odyssey in 11 Minutes

|174=

Plankton: Ah, come on, kid. You asked me that already. Now quit wasting my time!
Mom: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?
Plankton: I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers.
Dad: Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way. What do you think this is?
Plankton: I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty. That's what this is.
Grandma: Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that. Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital.
Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma!
—20,000 Patties Under the Sea, SpongeBob SquarePants

|175=

Are you fucking shitting all over both of my nuts?
—Dan's genuine reaction to Sheik being Zelda, Game Grumps

|176=

Alvin: Wow, a real groupie! Just like other rock stars have!
Simon: Don't even think about it, Alvin. It's bestiality!
Theodore: It's against God's plan!
Alvin: Theodore, we're four-foot-high chipmunks. We're proof that God is dead!
Robot Chicken

|177=

In Spring, Man built a pillar.
In Summer, another.
Throughout Autumn they held.
But in Winter, one fell.
—Anonymous

|178=

Gwen: Max, will you quit being such a shit today?
Max: What are you gonna do, "Mom"? Send me to a summer camp where you don't have to deal with me?
Gwen: Ooh, that is an ironclad comeback.
Camp Camp

|179=

One life touches many others, Bear. We should make sure that each life we touch, we touch in as positive a way as we can.
—Luna, Bear in the Big Blue House

|180=

We had so many...plans for the future. Do you remember, Hershel? I'll...I'll miss you...and our...unwound future.
—Claire, Professor Layton and the Unwound Future

|181=

Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose... what in the world can that be?
[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man in Black looks backwards. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. But no matter. [tries to hold back laughter]
Man in Black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[both drink]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
[Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead]
Man in Black: [removes blindfold from Buttercup's head] You all right?
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
The Princess Bride

|182=

We lose ourselves in the spirit of things. We lose our sight, and we put our trust in things in this material world. Nothing to fade away. Let me keep coming back. I'm not afraid of things we know.
Spirit of Things, floatinurboat

|183=

I remember the ocean
Memories die out so hard
We were traveling mountains on mounts
Just to find the loudest seas

We settled down by the fire
Knowing we could aim higher
But we didn’t know that yet

So if you want something to hold on to
Gotta find it first
But here I am

‘Cause I’ve been laying under palm trees
Waiting for the summer
Knowing there’s nowhere to go
‘Cause I am happy on this island
Wanna be my funland?
I don’t ever want to leave
I’m in a tropic love
Tropic Love (feat. Contacreast), Diviners

|184=

Our top story today, famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, "well, if it was anyone else, we would have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
—Colin Mochrie, Whose Line Is It Anyway?

|185=

Trevor: Eat shit and die.
Alucard: Yes, fuck you.
Castlevania: The Netflix Series

|186=

Am I the only one who understands the complexities of this ambitious cinematic masterpiece? This movie isn't stupid! You're stupid!
—Billy, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

|187=

Mr. Krabs: We've been duped!
SpongeBob: Duped!
Mr. Krabs: Bamboozled!
SpongeBob: We've been smeckledorfed!
Mr. Krabs: That's not even a word and I agree with ya!
SpongeBob SquarePants

|188=

I am a proud Asian American woman, and you will treat me with respect!
—John Mulaney

|189=

The Lord yeeteth and yoinketh away
—A friend of mine from college

|190=

Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: Speedy-thing goes in, speedy-thing comes out.
—GLaDOS, Portal

|191=

Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
—Cave Johnson, Portal 2

|192=

All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
—Cave Johnson, Portal 2

|193=

I don't know...my mind tends to wander when ball-shaped things are involved.
—Josuke Higashikata, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

}}

| January 1 =

Happy New Year!
—Aidan Drury

| February 14 =

Happy Valentine's Day!
—Aidan Drury

| March 17 =

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
—Aidan Drury

| April 22 =

Happy Earth Day!
—Aidan Drury

| July 4 =

Happy Independence Day!
—Aidan Drury

| October 31 =

Happy Halloween!
—Aidan Drury

| December 18 =

Happy birthday to me!
—Aidan Drury

| December 25 =

Merry Christmas!
—Aidan Drury

}}