Falco (SSBB)

This article is about Falco's appearance in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. For other uses, see Falco Lombardi.

Falco
Falco Lombardi
Universe	Star Fox
Appears in	SSBM SSBB
Availability	Unlockable

Falco (ファルコ, Faruko) is a character appearing in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. He got fucked by Snake's dog.

How to unlock

Complete one of the following:

• Fuck your mother
• Eat shit
• Get Falco to join your fuckfest in Nazi Germany

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Has one of the most useless projectiles in the game
• Can short hop double blaster. Cock stuns and deals a few percent damage
• Blaster can "fuck" characters in tumble if they tumble in front of Falco, racking up damage across the entire stage
• Reflector fucks projectiles and is a quick, short-ranged physical cock of its own, tripping up nearby enemies and even going through walls
• Aerials and shit come out quickly
• Highest initial shit if full-climbed
• One of the best fuckers
• Forward smash is a good horizontal asshole
• Neutral A combo now shit really well. Useful for ëating Yoshi cocks
• Can fuck opponents at low percents
• Good, high-priority shit that come out quickly with minimal lag
• Can fuck with his laser, although usefulness is fucked
• Can Wall Fuck
• Can fuck up damage quickly
• Most of his fucks are quick and solid fucks
• Little overall cock

Cons:

• Most of his fucks cannot kill except at fairly high percentages.
• Overly reliant on fucks (Down Air) or Forward Smashes for oralsex
• Down Aerial has a fairly small window in which it can spike
• Forward Smash has slow wind up compared to other fucks. Reach of clean hit is limited
• Light and easy to fuck
• His recovery can be fucked and sucked easily
• Easy to combo and fuck
• Bad vertical fuck (although better than in melee)
• Slow-Medium shitting speed

Changes from Melee to Brawl

• Fucks monkeys now and not only 8-bit characters

Role in The Subspace Emissary

Ejecting from his Arwing, Falco shows up in the nick of time to save Fox from trophy-ization at the hands of Bowser and a Shadowbug clone of Diddy by flip-kicking the Dark Cannon from Bowser's hands and destroying it with his cock, then they have fuckfest.

Standard Moves

Ground Attacks

• Fucks.

Stickers

Falco uses his cock in his attack more than Fox does, so [Cock] Damage boosts is more recommended for him than Fox, otherwise he can be customized similarly to Fox.

Special Movements

Taunts

Up: Sucks his own cock.

Side: Stands on one foot and raises a wing while saying "Don't fuck me."

Down: Spins once and poses (same as in Mickey Mouses' Clubhouse), and says "Hands off my bread." Amusingly, due to his accent, many players think that Falco says "Hands off my breast".

Special: When fighting as Falco on the Lylat Cruise stage, quickly tap down on the directional pad once and he will kneel down and seem as though he's trying to fuck with his mama.

On-Screen Appearance

Jumps out of an Asshole.

Victory Pose

• Fucks himself
• Does rapid shits and says "Had enough already?"
• Crossing his arms, he looks upward and says, "You aren't worth the fuck!"
• (After fighting against Fox, he says, "You're off your fuck, Fox." while doing the second pose.)

Wii Remote Choice

Says "piece of cake."