User:Aidanzapunk/Quotes

“	Colonel Sandurz: Princess Vespa's spaceship within range, sir. Dark Helmet: Good. Fire a warning shot across her nose. *lasers* Vespa: What's going on? Dot: It's either the 4th of July, or someone's trying to kill us! Vespa: Hey...I don't have to put up with this! I'm rich! *grabs phone* Dot: What are you doing?! Vespa: I'm calling my father. *dialing on phone* 1-800-DRUIDIA. *back on Spaceball I* Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot, I said across her nose, not up it! Phillip Asshole: Sorry sir, doing my best. Dark Helmet: ...Who made that man a gunner? Major Asshole: I did, sir! He's my cousin. Dark Helmet: Who is he? Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir. Dark Helmet: ...I know that! What's his name?! Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole. Dark Helmet: And his cousin? Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole too, sir; Gunners mate first class Phillip Asshole. Dark Helmet: ...How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow? Entire crew: *stands up and raises hand* YO! Dark Helmet: ...I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes. ...Keep firing, Assholes!	”
—One of the best scenes ever, Spaceballs