User:Aidanzapunk/Quotes

“	Dark Helmet: Have you found them yet? Corporal: No, Lord Helmet, they're still not on the scanner. Dark Helmet: Well, keep looking for them. Colonel Sandurz: Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. Corporal, get me the video cassette of Spaceballs: the Movie. Corporal: Yes, sir. *searches a Mr. Rental shelf full of Mel Brooks films* The Producers, Twelve Chairs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein... Dark Helmet: Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you, please? Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir! Dark Helmet: How can there be a cassette of Spaceballs: the Movie? We're still in the middle of making it! Colonel Sandurz: Well, that's true, sir, but there's been a new breakthrough in home video marketing. Dark Helmet: There has? Colonel Sandurz: Yes! Instant cassettes. They're out in stores before the movie is finished! Dark Helmet: ...Nah! Corporal: Here it is, sir! Spaceballs! Colonel Sandurz: Good work, Corporal, punch it up! *Corporal puts in tape and it shows an F.B.I. Anti-Piracy warning* Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward! Corporal: Preparing to fast-forward. Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward! Corporal: Fast-forwarding, sir! *Corporal fast-forwards to the part where Dark Helmet has ignored Sandurz' warning to sit down and buckle up that leads to him denting his helmet severely* Dark Helmet: No no no, go past this, past this part. In fact, never play this again. Colonel Sandurz: Try here. Stop. *Corporal stops the tape, then Dark Helmet and Sandurz come across an image of themselves viewing the screen. As they react, the screen mimics what they are doing.* Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the movie?! Colonel Sandurz: "Now." You're looking at "now," sir. Everything that happens now is happening "now." Dark Helmet: What happened to "then"? Colonel Sandurz: We passed "then." Dark Helmet: When? Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at "now," now. Dark Helmet: Go back to "then"! Colonel Sandurz: When? Dark Helmet: Now! Colonel Sandurz: Now? Dark Helmet: Now! Colonel Sandurz: I can't. Dark Helmet: Why?! Colonel Sandurz: We missed it. Dark Helmet: When?! Colonel Sandurz: Just now. Dark Helmet: ...When will "then" be "now"? Colonel Sandurz: Soon. Dark Helmet: How soon? *Corporal rewinds the tape back to a scene showing protagonists wandering in desert* Corporal: Sir! Dark Helmet: What?! Corporal: We have identified their location. Dark Helmet: Where?! Corporal: It's the moon of Vega! Colonel Sandurz: Good work, set a course and prepare for our arrival! Dark Helmet: When?! Corporal: 1900 hours, sir! Colonel Sandurz: By high noon tomorrow, they will be our prisoners! Dark Helmet: WHO?!!	”
—Spaceballs