SmashWiki:April Fools'/PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale

The PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale logo

PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale (often abbreviated "PSABR") is totally not a blatant ripoff of the Smash series, perpetrated by Superbot Entertainment. Its name was leaked by PlayStation Lifestyle because I guess they couldn't keep their fat mouths shut about this totally awesome new Sma--I mean Playstation game.

It is especially different from Smash due to its embarrassing cast of only 28 characters (did you guys seriously only pick one or two characters per franchise? Lazy, so lazy), as opposed to Smash 4's 55. Also unlike Smash, up to four players can participate in a match in which they pick different PlayStation characters, each with their own abilities and stuff, to battle it out in a universe-themed stage. It's totally different, just trust me. After all, each time an attack connects, the user gains AP (All-Star Power, because ynot) in their "super bar". When the super bar is filled, characters can use their ~~final smash~~ Super Moves, which are the only methods of getting a KO (which means this game also rips off Shrek Super Slam, congratulations). That's right, it's not so much like Smash now, right? right? It's smash but worse, don't play this garbage.

And remember: knowing how to play will greatly improve your experience.

Characters

Name	Image	Description
Kratos		Time to piss off the God of War fans huh? Well ok, here goes: Covered in the ashes of his family who he viciously murdered, He has shown to have been not too bright, having been tricked into killing his aforementioned family by Ares, and tricked out of immortality by Zeus (although it seems like the one thing he can't kill is himself, go figure). He is so feared, it seems even hair is scared to grow on this dude's noggin.
Parappa the Rapper		For a rapper, PaRappa has a high-pitched voice. You would laugh at his tryhard attempts of trying to rap an Eminem song, only for him to sound funny as hell. He's also flat, which leaves people thinking that he may actually be Mr. Game & Watch's lost dog that escaped into this joke of fighting game.
Fat Princess		Have you ever had that girlfriend who weighs more than double what you do? Meet Fat Princess, the cake is no lie here. She went on a mission to find and eat all of the cake in her entire kingdom! Perhaps her kingdom is called Titania because they have to make all of their furniture out of reinforced titanium for her.
Sweet Tooth		Apparently the very embodiment of a flamer, it could be said that this guy is a bit of a hothead. Driving his vehicle of choice, an ice cream truck (named "The Sweet Tooth", how creative) of all things, he lives up to his name. He loves ice cream, which makes one wonder how his head doesn't instantly melt it. Try to steal it, and well... Anyway, I have to wonder: Why do a ton of the characters in this game kill their families? Sweet Tooth is no different...well he is very different but not in the family killing respect. In fact, this guy went to kill his daughter...after he had already killed her. Like, he went and dug up her grave and...yeah. He did end up trapped in her coffin though.
Colonel Radec		Radec is a skyscraper at about 7 feet tall, which makes him easy to hit like some characters (we're talking to you, Ganondorf!). He's intelligent, strong, great at both using weapons and at personal combat, but at the end of Killzone 2, you can notice he is suicidal as you see him shoot himself in the head at the end. You want a tip to beat him in this game? Attack his breathing machine and you'll see him suffocate in a funny way.
Sly Cooper		Sly is a raccoon who steals things, but it's ok I guess because it's for the greater good. He's like a rodent Robinhood. Anyway he teams up with a turtle and a hippopotamus of all things (the very epitome of larson, slow and overweight) to partake in his illegal antics. He is stealing from criminals, but you know what? Two wrongs don't make a right. Buuuut in the Sly Cooper universe, I guess anything goes. Except here's the kicker: his love interest is a Fox (who eat raccoons) who also happens to be a police detective. Whatever gets ya going buddy, but talk about a conflict of interests.
Nathan Drake		Nathan Drake is an explorer who apparently is not afraid of committing a bit of B&E to get to what he's after. As a younger teenager, he broke in to some old lady's house for a journal or something and winded up forcing her to have a heart attack as she tried to call the police. That's one for the old conscience. So ended up on the run from the law, where he was trained by a former navy officer...who was unaware of the whole old lady thing from before I guess? Anyway the dude is also a con artist so I mean...red flags on being trained in anything by those. He eventually found the secret of El Dorado...it's zombies. It turns people into zombies. I'm done, next.
Cole MacGrath		This guy is just a a mediocre bike messenger who just so happened to kill half a city's population with the package he was going to deliver when it exploded. Sure, it granted him electric powers, but his personality is still unlikable. He is nothing more than a mere firefly despite being top tier.
Evil Cole MacGrath		It's just Cole but with evil karma. He's a slower and more powerful clone, blah blah blah. Just another Mario/Dr. Mario rip-off example. Moving on!
Ratchet and Clank		Ratchet and Clank are this games' Ice Climbers. I guess. Idk Ratchet is a uh Lom-...a uh Lombax? Ok sure let's just make up species names then. Alrighty. Anyway, Clank is a super fighting robot who is not Mega Man so don't get too excited. So Ratchet is a mechanic whose creations always seem to fall apart after he's finished, and Clank is...a robot, yeah there isn't much to say here so let's just move on.
Jak and Daxter		Jak is a guy that has a voice, but he may as well not because Daxter, his weasel-like sidekick, loves to talk for him. A lot. It doesn't help considering he is annoying as hell. Should've called him Dexter make him intelligent rather than Daxter whose personality is dumber than your average pop singer.
Big Daddy		So Big Daddy is the only character in the list of playables that is actually just a common enemy...so way to be creative with the Bioshock there. He does become playable in BioShock 2 but...eh. Anyway they live in Rapture, an underwater city, to protect some little girls from god knows what. So uh yeah... Don't look too far into that name huh? Especially given their job.
Dante		Sometimes his hair is black, sometimes it's white. Dante doesn't give a rat's ass. This applies to most things, and apparently consistency of hair color can be added to that list. His father is a literal demon out of hell, because I guess mom's into that or something. His dad conquered the underworld then died...so that sucks. But I guess the other demons of hell wanted revenge so they went out to kill Dante's mother, subsequently turning Dante into a badass demon slayer. He does like hanging around with women who look like his mother though, so that's kinda weird.
Heihachi Mishima		Ohhhh man check out this guy. Maybe he should work in a circus because that mug is...just hilarious. So this guy is fucked up. He locked his own father in a basement and left him to starve to death after overthrowing him out of his martial arts company. He decided to throw his child down a ravine, stating a son of his would survive. When he did survive, his son attempted to overthrow Heihachi just as he had to his father, but he decided to throw his son in a volcano instead. Pretty reasonable.
Nariko		This fine lady was prophesied to be a man. No, really, a prophecy was made stating that a man born of her mother would lead her clan to peace, but she was born and her mother died soon after. This kinda ticked off her peers from the moment she was born. She was, however trained to be a warrior by her father, proving to be quite adept, but still very much hated by her people. Eventually, she did bring about peace, proving for what must be the millionth time that prophecies are meant to be broken.
Raiden		Raiden is half robot and half human (ikr, not like those are everywhere). He was raised by a the man who murdered his parents, so that sucks. His new dad ended up being the President of the United States, but only to manipulate leaders into warring with each other...Kratos would hate this guy, sounds just like Ares. Raiden got sent into a civil war in Liberia by dear old dad...at the age of 10. Yep. He had a girlfriend but she was a spy for the Patriots who want to take over the world but then she told him after he got injured or some shit...and didn't want to take over the world after that. Idk it's confusing, Metal Gear is goofy. Also if Raiden is here, where is Snake? Why can't Snake be a playable character? Guess he was too busy fighting in a certain other series, hmmm...
Sackboy		Ha ha ha! Are you planning to use this useless piece of trash? Sackboy attracts nerfs about as well as James Bond attracts women, having been nerfed four times in patch updates. We should consider naming him Hackboy, because seriously, that's the only way he'll ever be good.
Sir Daniel		This derpy looking skeleton character was made head of the Royal Battalion of Gallowmere...because he told good stories to the king. High standards for sure, only the best. So when an evil sorcerer rose from exile and created an army of the undead, the King naturally sent Daniel into battle with him completely unprepared and unskilled. The King decided to lie and said that the Daniel fell in battle moments after slaying the sorcerer...Except the sorcerer decided to rise once again years later and, in raising his undead army, he also brought ol' Danny here back to life. Dan manages to slay the sorcerer for real this time and is able to return to his death in peace. A happy ending for a not so happy tale.
Spike		Three words: Time Traveling Apes. Scary thought huh? Well it's a reality for this kid. When the apes got really smart from wearing this cool helmet thingy, they learn how to travel back in time, and Spike is charged with following them back in time, rounding them up, and bringing them back to the present before they can damage the past. Maybe Spike should spend less time "monkeying around" and spend more time getting into more decent fighting games.
Toro Inoue		Toro is a cat, and the mascot of PlayStation in Japan, so they included him in the game. Maybe the Wii logo should have been a playable character in Brawl? It seems that it doesn't seem to matter with PlayStation All-Stars: If the character is willed to be in it, they're in it. At least this cat does have a cuteness factor though.